Material Data Safety Sheet (MSDS)

Hazardous Materials Information Systems
Material Safety Data Sheet: Woman - A Chemical Analysis

NAME: woman (en), Frau (de), femme (fr), donna (it), mujer (es)
NICKNAMES: girl, chick, babe or in Dutch meid, lekkerding
FORMULA: Not exactly specified: a mixture of hard parts (bones) consisting of calcium phosphate, furthermore about 70% of water
MANUFACTURE: by self-reproduction
TYPE: Mostly organic
ATOMIC SIZE: ranging from 1.56m to 1.88m height, sizes in confectionary units 36...56, some adult samples of size 34 are reported .
FW: ranging from 48..110 kg, some ultralight adult samples of 47kg and 1.57m are reported.
CAS RN: Every sample has a unique RN, usually the Civil Service number e.g. 1167-85-536 or 2395-94-484


  1. A large number of allotropic forms have been observed
  2. Transparency, hardness, color/shading vary within wide limits
  3. The color of the pure substance exhibited by many specimens is a surface phenomenon, ranging from pinkish to dark brown
  4. Most color variations are due to various types of strongly adhering powder
  5. Some exposed surfaces may also be covered with painted film, lotions and/or creams
  6. Thickness of all extracellular substances appear to increase with specimen's age
  7. Caution: Exposed hair on some specimens may not be natural color
  8. The boiling point for some is quite low, and may boil w/o apparent reason
  9. Some specimens may also freeze without warning/reason, or at any moment
  10. All varieties can melt, but only if given special and individualized treatment
  11. Bitter if incorrectly used
  12. Found in various states ranging from virgin metal to common ore
  13. Yields to pressure applied to correct points
  14. The vast majority of specimens do not age gracefully
  15. Both stable and unstable unions have been described with the element man


  1. Has great affinity for gold, silver, platinum and all precious stones
  2. Able to absorb great quantities of expensive substances
  3. Seemingly unlimited quantities of expensive food can be absorbed
  4. May get severely inflammable if left alone with (usually a single) sample of man. One Mermaid sample is reported to increase flammability strongly when her skin is exposed to sunlight.
  5. May ignite or explode spontaneously if combined man is together with another sample of Woman
  6. Insoluble in most liquids; Woman absorbs many liquids without dissolving in them
  7. Activity may greatly increase upon saturation in alcohol
  8. Most powerful money-reducing agent known
  9. Sometimes however money-generating


  1. Abundant in nature and is found in both the free and combined states
  2. Often found combined with the element Man , but these combinations can be decomposed by another Man or by herself in some cases when the combination is unstable.
    Estimated count worldwide about 2 billion adult samples.
  3. Many (as yet unexplained) regional differences in appearance and behavior
  4. Often found in combination with small quantities of precious metal (Au/Ag/Pt/Pd) alloys around finger(s), wrests, ankle, tongue, ears, navel or nipples.


  1. Studies complicated by the fact that residual attraction is never satisfied
  2. Pure specimen turns sometimes rosy pink (Europe / N-America / Australia), most allotropic forms in chocolate brown when discovered in natural state
  3. In general, they tend to explode spontaneously if in conflict with the element man particularly when another sample of woman is involved
  4. Unlike many men think, Most samples are not for household and (child) care only.
  5. Turns green when placed beside better or more polished sample


  1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
  2. Can be unstable and/or explosive
  3. Attempt to phycical contact should not be taken too quickly as men want, apply emotional and caring and listening first and never expect physical contact as a result
  4. One should be consious about unexpected freezing: paying attention about feeling will prevent this in most cases.
  5. Let her tell her story and listen with attention, do not propose solutions for problems she tells the latter is what men tend to do.
  6. When physical contact is performed with a virtually unknown sample always use latex protection
  7. A very small minority however have a great affinity to physical contact, regardless of appearence
  8. Samples between 20 and 35 years of age can be particularly dangerous
  9. May be affected by phases of the moon, or nothing at all
  10. Radioactivity: Traces of 40K (potassium isotope 40, 10..20mg per sample).
  11. Flammability: Most samples, particularly the very emotical ones in combination with an attractive and romantic sample of the element man.
  12. Explosiveness: Most samples which are not very stress resistant or think they know everything very well. Or having / maintaining more than one sample at the same time may result in explosive or vigorous reactions.
  13. Virus hazard: ALWAYS use latex protection when handling with your eleventh finger unless you know very sure of the history of the sample.


  1. Illegal to own more than one specimen outright at a time
  2. Illegal to attempt phycical contact without her consent
  3. i Disposal laws are complex and extremely costly
  4. Some select specimens are acceptable for recycling

NFPA 704 ratings for Women:

Health hazard / poison:
Other hazards: